How to Pick up a Girl in a Club

A club can be a particularly frustrating place to meet someone, with all the noise, the crowd and the business of the participants. In fact, most women don't go to clubs to meet men. Yet, many men go to lubs to meet women. Here is a step-by-step guide on the best way to increase your chances of success.

Steps

1. Arrive early. By midnight, most people have already coalesced into groups, making them harder to approach.

2. Start conversations with people in the line-up. A good start is to ask someone if this is the event you are looking for.

3. After entering through the door, make eye contact with the first woman there. Again, "is this the event?" is an opening that will work. Since she's by the door, chances are she has just arrived and is also looking for someone to talk to.

4. Whenever you meet someone, ask if she's there alone or with friends. Then ask to meet her friends. Chances are she'll be happy to introduce. They tend to prefer the group dynamic in this setting.

5. Once you get names, and a few minutes of chit chat, move on. This shows them that you're not
desperate and that you have things to do. You can come back to them later as someone they already know.

6. After moving away, you may need to write down the names you just got for later reference.

7. Whatever you do, DON'T BE A WALLFLOWER. Guys who stand against the wall looking longingly at the women get pidgenonholed as a typical desperate one they like to avoid. If you get stuck in such a position, move from it to another vantage point every few minutes before getting another project going.

8. If you feel like resting, find a seat away from the crowd.

9. Have things to do: Bring a camera, explore the place, check out the bathroom, buy a drink, get a napkin. Have a look of Destination on your face. What does this look like? Simple: Just take a look at the busy-looking women as they go from place to place on some seelingly crutial mission.

10. If you see people you know, go over to them. They may end up introducing you to more people.

11. Talk to bouncers and security people. This makes you look important. These people are often bored and will be happy to talk to you.

12. Bring an entourage. It makes you attractive if you are part of a group.

13. If possible, come with a "wing-woman." A wing-woman is an attractive woman who is only a friend. This makes you look attractive.

14. Find someone to dance with. For this, an older or less attractive woman is ideal. They will be happy to dance with you and you will attract the attention of the young and pretty ones who are wondering why you chose this one as opposed to them. When the dance is over, compliment your partner and excuse yourself, then approach any one of the cute ones who will now be looking at you.

15. Talk to female wallflowers. They are open to meeting someone. Even if she is older or less attractive, engage them in conversation. This will make the cute ones wondering (same as above).

16. Walk around with a big cool looking drink. This will get you attention. Ask the bartender for a
recommendation on this.

17. Go outside. They stamp your hand so you might as well use it. Outside there is less competition and a it's less crowded and you can occasionally find a lone woman taking a break or a smoke.

18. Instead of asking for a phone number, ask for a business card. If she says she doesn't have one, ask if she has email.

19. Don't be satisfied with one email or phone number, even if you think she is the "woman of your dreams." Most women will not return a phone call from a guy she met at a club.

20. Make sure to circle around back to the women you met at the beginning. At this point, after missing you, they will be more open to talk.

21. The next day, email all the women. Give them some sort of way for them to remember who you are, and give them your phone number and tell them when you will be available.

Tips

• Have something to say. Many guys say "How's it going" and don't get much further. Also, be in the moment. Most women do not want to discuss their lives immediately with a new acquaintance. They might be open to discussing the event you are at, which can lead naturally into discussing more about them.

• If a woman insults you, just say "whatever" and turn away.

• If a woman displays childish or otherwise condescending or inappropriate behavior, do not feel like you have to play into it: Simply say: "I thought you were interesing, but I see I was mistaken. Good evening," and then turn to walk away. If she's descent she'll apppologize and pull you back.

• If you see a couple who looks like they might be just friends, try introducing yourself to the guy first He'll introduce you to her if he's her "wing-man."

• Don't feel like you have to spend the whole evening talking to one woman. She's there to be with other people too. So if things are going well, ask for an email, excuse yourself and move on to someone else.

• Come clean, groomed and wear a nice, pressed, expensive looking dark shirt.

• If a woman makes eye contact, go for it.

• If a woman avoids eye contact, you have just been rejected. Move on.

• If someone indicates that he or she would like to talk to you, for example, by making eye contact, talk to him or her even if you are not interested. This will make you look as busy as anyone else, and makes it look as though you didn't come there to meet pick up women.

• Don't dance too much by yourself. It makes you look alone. If there's one song you must dance to, do it where you're not too noticeable.

• For picking up women on the dance floor itself, see the wikihow on how to pick up a woman on a
dance floor.

• If you find yourself with nothing to do, look busy and important: Check your email, text your friends, call your mom, etc. If you don't know what "busy and important" is supposed to look like, just watch the busy and important looking women and do what they do.

• When choosing a woman to take your picture, pick one who has her own camera. This way (a) she probably knows what she's doing, and (b) after she takes yours, you can continue by offering to take one of her.

• Come with an attitude that says you are not there just to pick up women. You are there to hang with friends, enjoy the atmosphere and the music, perhaps dance a little, relax and have a drink, think about life, take pictures and whatever else you can come up with. This way if you don't meet someone, you will not consider the evening a failure. And projecting this attitude will make you look interesting, approachable and safe.

• If you find yourself sitting on the sidelines, differeriate yourself by not looking at the women, at least not for any extended amount of time. Concentrate on something else. Sip your drink, solve some work problem, figure out how to use some feature on our cell phone. With this technique, sooner or later, someone will sit down near or next to you.

• If someone sits down next to you, or on the same sofa with no one in between, she is probably
interested in you. Wait a few minutes and start a conversation.

• If you cannot get someone's phone number or email, try to get a first and last name. Then go home and look her up on Facebook. I am told, that as of this writing (Jan 2008), being approached in this manner is considered the least threatening by women. But this can change over time.

Warnings

• Don't try to pick up the bartender. She's busy. If you must pick her up, only try it either very early or very late if she seems to have time.

• Keep in mind that most women at clubs are not there to meet new people but to have fun with people they already know.

• Realize that YOU WILL GET REJECTED as a matter of course by at least some of the women you approach. Some women enjoy the power surge of rejecting someone and get themselves all dolled up just to attract their next victim(s). If you cannot handle this, you should find other places to pick up women.

• Beware of boyfriends. If you see a couple very close and lovey-dovey, give them space.

• Occasionally, a woman will be downright rude and insulting. Learn to deal with this. Having a quick comeback up your sleeve then turning and leaving before they have the chance to wipe the look of shock off their face will leave you on the higher ground in the eyes of onlookers.

• Don't wear cologne. It may attract women you don't want, and turn away others you do want.

• Do not invest any emotion into any one individual, or the entire project in general. Remember that women who go to clubs are probably too vapid and superficial for the long term anyway.

Things You'll Need

• Pen and paper for phone number, emails
• A cell-phone
• A camera